“My husband and I were married last year, and it truly was the best day of our lives.
The only problem was my maid of honor. She was very controlling, pestered me about details that I did not care about and tried to schedule every second of the whole weekend.
I ended up being quite blunt. Between the ceremony and reception, while my husband and I were getting our photos taken, she got extremely intoxicated.
She was a disaster during group photos and proceeded to get intoxicated to the point where the wait staff cut her off. Her speech was a blubbering mess and she bawled through the entire reception.
She was my best friend prior to this. I feel a tremendous sense of loss at the change in our relationship and am having trouble coping. We have discussed it since, and she blames me for being mean to her prior to the wedding, however, I don’t think that excuses her behavior.
She has left a dark cloud over my memory of my wedding day and I am having a hard time forgiving her. How can I get past this? — Newlywed”
As my understanding of weddings go, the Maid of Honor is supposed to be on top of what is going on and to possibly take things off your (the bride’s) plate so you can focus on your wedding. She sounds like she was just trying to make your special day easier and as efficient as possible.
Did you ever think that maybe she was a “blubbering mess” and crying throughout the reception because she was losing her best friend? It was clearly an emotional time for her and it sounds like you misread the signs and she coped by drinking – which, by the way, how did she get so drunk in between the ceremony and the photo taking? That’s maybe a 30-40 minute window… Kudos to her then for partying hard and maximizing her time. Furthermore, where was her date to take care of her!? Or maybe the Best Man!? But, you also don’t deny that you were mean to her prior to the wedding. No, it doesn’t excuse her reactions but shunning her was the wrong course of action.