Don’t “Ask Amy”, Jaw with John!

I’m changing things up a bit to give my writing some variety and I figured I’d start by handing out some advice. I already read the ‘Ask Amy’ column that comes in my copy of the LA Times every day and sometimes I feel that Amy doesn’t give the best advice.

That’s where I come in.

I will choose one of the two questions asked and give my own brand of advice which I am calling ‘Jaw with John’.

Is it my advice good? I don’t know.
Will it be sarcastic? Most likely.
Will there be at least a grain of truth in my response? Absolutely.

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My advice face

Without further ado.

“My brother is engaged to a great woman whom we all love. She has two kids (ages 6 and 5) from a previous marriage. As a family we all love her kids too!

She and my brother are now expecting a baby and while there is no wedding date set (a sticking point with some members of our family), my real question is regarding a baby shower.

I’ve heard of throwing a “sprinkle” for someone’s second baby, but I don’t know what is expected in this sort of situation. If we do anything we’d like it to be co-ed to involve my brother as well, but should we throw a full-on baby shower? — Eager (Almost) Aunt

Dear Eager,

Let me set the record straight. No man wants to go to a baby shower. Ever. Period. Do you think he’d enjoy sitting around watching the mother of his unborn child open breast pumps, onesies, or a book on proper kegel exercises? NO! I understand you love your brother but this sounds like unnecessary torture.

Most guys would rather be given things and stuff they need for their baby without all of the pomp and decorations. It’s either that or watch him stare awkwardly at the mother-to-be as she unwraps a “How To Lose That Baby Fat” book.

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