Dear John: You Can Find Boyfriend In Da Strip Club

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. We are planning on moving to California together in a few months.

I flew to Monterey to job hunt, and he is supposed to be flying in soon. However, last night I found out he and his buddy went to a strip club. My boyfriend knows I’m uncomfortable with him going to strip clubs, and he assured me that they would not be going when we spoke on the phone earlier in the evening.

He says I’m controlling and childish for being angry at him. I told him it’s either me or the strip clubs — mostly just to see how he would react. His response was that freedom of choice is very important to him. I even went as far as to say if he feels the need to go to strip clubs, then I would start stripping on the side to spite him.

I’m tempted to cancel his ticket to California. I don’t want him flying here if we are just going to fight. Is this situation worth the cost of a relationship? How do I deal with someone so stubborn to the point he can’t see when he’s in the wrong? He is in the wrong, isn’t he? — CHOICE IS CLEAR

 

Dear Choice,

Does he visit strip clubs often? Because if he did, then I could see how that would be a problem. If he doesn’t but he still just continues to go (and you’re SUPER pissed about it) even when you’ve broadcasted your feelings about going, then it might be time to hitch your wagon to a new horse.

If you guys don’t break up, let me know when and where I can watch you dance. But HEY! If you do go that route, you might be able to spend more time with your boyfriend. Win-Win.

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Dear John: Every Rose Has A Thorn. Even An Artificial One

My brother-in-law died a month ago and was cremated by the local affiliate of a prominent funeral home. To make it easier for my sister, I accompanied her to the mortuary to pick up her husband’s remains. I walked in alone, and as I returned to the car with his urn, a young funeral home employee in a black suit and scuffed shoes followed me. Through the window of the car, he presented my sister an artificial red rose and said, “We’re sorry for your loss.”

My sister and I were appalled by the insincerity of this gesture, and I called and told the funeral home director that the sentiments were as phony as the rose. He said, “I thought it was a great idea,” and couldn’t understand our reaction. Were we wrong? — RESENTING PHONY SENTIMENTS

Dear Resting:

Daaaaaaaaaayummmmm! Calling out the man’s shoes like that!??! Not cool. You should’ve just politely declined. That’s it.

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Dear John: Placard Abuse By Friend Irks Her

I have a friend who uses her elderly mother’s handicap placard to park in handicap spots even when her mother is not in the car. My friend is able-bodied. I think this is wrong. Handicap parking spots should be reserved for people who truly need them. When she offers to drive me somewhere, how should I handle it? — UNSURE IN CLEVELAND

Dear Unsure,

It is wrong. It is also illegal. If she offers you a ride somewhere you need to speak up and voice your opinion. Other than that, take public transit (if possible) or use rideshare apps (again, if possible) to reach your destinations. Or, you could just call the police on her – but then that could result in her losing the placard when her mom is the one who actually needs it.

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Dear John: When In Florida, Avoid Your In-Laws

My husband’s horrible sisters have invited themselves to our home in Florida. They hate me. One’s husband sexually assaulted me five years ago. When I had her come and get him (he was drunk), she accused me of making it up! (She saw it happen.)

The other sister has never invited us over for dinners or special events. She’s extremely obese and will break our furniture if she sits on it.

We are in our 70s, live modestly and can’t afford this selfish intrusion. My husband says, “But they’re my sisters!” Please help me get out of this. — LOOKING FOR PEACE

Dear Looking,

First question: Are you married to someone in The Klumps?

Second question: Would you even want to go over to your sister-in-law’s home for dinner? Sounds like you just want to cut her out completely.

There is one way to get out of this: divorce. JK, you seem to actually love your husband, just not the rest of his family. You can politely excuse yourself when they arrive by letting your husband know “Hey Todd, I’m gonna take a girl’s weekend with Muriel and Florence while your sisters are in town.” Boom. It’s that easy. You can even fake going away with people and just go do something fun for yourself!

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Dear John: Gluten-Free Friend Is Worried About Eating At Parties

I feel much more comfortable eating gluten-free. But it creates problems when I’m invited to the homes of friends. What’s the best way to deal with my dietary restrictions when invited to these affairs? — RESTRICTED EATER

Dear Restricted Eater,

You call up whoever invited you and say “Hey Brenda, I’m eating gluten free and was wondering what you will be serving? If you could provide a gluten free option that’d be awesome, but, I understand it’s an inconvenience. So, I can bring something for myself to eat that fits with my diet if a gluten free option is not available. Thanks a bunch!”

The good news is that there a tons of gluten-free options available and your dinner party hosts could potentially be able to accommodate you. At the same time, how many dinner parties are you getting invited to??? Check you out! Ms./Mr. Popular!

But at least you’re not vegan. They can be the worst and nearly impossible to deal with when planning meals.

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